How Merlin got a cellphone

"Arthur we must be careful because"
Ring ring ring!
"what is that sound Merlin?"
"it's my cellphone."
"what is a cell..phone?"
"well I got it in a time called the 21 st century"
"21st century?"
"yes Arthur, 21st century. They have things you cant imagine. Pickles, hamburgers, and sliced bread"
"what is sliced bread?"
"it's bread or a roll cut into slices"
"oh my gosh Merlin that's amazing!"
" I know Arthur i am amazing"
"no i meant the"
"Arthur flattering me anymore will not do you any good."

Friday comedy post: why chuck Norris?

Hey it's Friday girls and Justin bieber is not performing! It's Friday comedy with your friday comedian-Ryan
So there is this fad, called the Chuck Norris fad. And all this fad is basically threatening people with the words chuck Norris. It's freakin' weird an I'm scared. One kid says to me, "hey why did the chicken cross the road?" I say " because he wanted to get to the other side." you expect that to be it right? Wrong , exactly more twisted than ever. The kid says "because chuck Norris was holding a gun to the chickens head." i just stand there appalled that a ten year old kid is telling me chuck norris is holding a gun at a chicken. While at the mean time, how many 10 year olds think of threatening someone with a gun. I'm abit scared. Also chuck Norris is famous for his role as Ronald McDonald. This man I'm sure has been mentally messed up by being this character. What really drives me crazy is how people talk about chuck Norris and the soviet union. I mean what the hell! The soviet union? That's just ridiculous. But the good things is that this chuck Norris phase is gone for now. This is your Friday comedian signing off until next time.

Why the dentist is scary.

What does the dentist live off of?
The fear the children have going into the office, sitting in the chair that goes back a lot then strapping you down to see... The most horrifying thing ever DENTAL FLOSS. This has been a joke from your friday comedian-Ryan

5th Budda baby joke

What kind of tree is Budda baby's favorite tree?
A bonsai tree!
This has been a Budda baby joke from your friday comedian-Ryan

President Joke

You know how Richard Nixon always said "I will never tell a lie" and how he did the peace sign with his fingers? When you weren't looking he'd cross his fingers
This has been a joke from your friday comedian-Ryan

4th Budda baby joke

What kind of drum set does Budda baby play?
A peaceful one!
This has been a Budda baby joke from your Friday comedian-Ryan

3rd Budda Baby Joke

"Hey bill what Harry Potter house is Budda baby in?"
"Let me guess, Griffendoor?"
"No! HufflePuff because thats where all the fat people go!"
This has been A Budda baby joke from your Friday Comedian-Ryan